Introduction
When sitting down to write an obituary, one of the first questions people ask is: what should I actually include? The answer depends partly on the person, partly on the family's wishes, and partly on the publication or platform where the obituary will appear. However, there are common elements that form the foundation of nearly every well-written obituary.
This guide breaks down each element so you can approach the writing process with clarity and confidence. Think of it as a checklist you can work through, section by section.
Essential Information
Full Name
Begin with the person's full legal name. If they were commonly known by a nickname, middle name, or maiden name, include that as well. For example: "Robert James 'Bobby' Anderson" or "Maria Elena Gutierrez (nee Alvarez)." This ensures that people searching for the obituary can find it regardless of which name they knew the person by.
Date and Place of Birth
Include the date of birth and, if known, the city or town where the person was born. This provides historical context and is particularly meaningful for families tracing their heritage or for community members who shared a hometown.
Date and Place of Death
State when and where the person passed away. You may also note whether they died at home, in a hospital, or in another setting, though this is optional and should align with the family's comfort level.
Cause of Death (Optional)
Including the cause of death is a family decision. Some families choose to share this information openly, while others prefer privacy. There is no obligation either way. If you do include it, you can be as specific or general as feels appropriate.
Life Story and Background
Early Life and Education
Briefly describe the person's upbringing. Where did they grow up? What schools did they attend? Did they earn any degrees or certifications? These details anchor the reader in the person's origins and help tell the story of how they became who they were.
Career and Professional Life
Mention significant jobs, careers, or professional accomplishments. If they worked at the same company for decades, that loyalty is worth noting. If they changed careers in a meaningful way — say, leaving corporate life to become a teacher — that story speaks to their values. Include military service here as well, noting branch, rank, and any honors received.
Marriage and Family
Note when and where they married, and mention their spouse by name. This is also a natural place to introduce the family structure that will be detailed in the survivors section. If the person was widowed or remarried, include that context as appropriate.
Personal Touches
Hobbies, Passions, and Interests
This is where an obituary truly comes to life. What did the person love to do? Were they an avid reader, a weekend fisherman, a passionate cook, a dedicated quilter? Did they follow a particular sports team with unwavering loyalty? These details are what friends and neighbors remember most and what make the obituary feel authentic.
Personality Traits and Values
Describe the qualities that defined the person. Were they known for their generosity? Their sense of humor? Their quiet strength? A few well-chosen descriptors can paint a vivid picture. Rather than simply listing traits, try to illustrate them with brief examples or anecdotes.
Community Involvement
Mention memberships in clubs, organizations, religious congregations, or civic groups. Note any volunteer work, leadership roles, or causes they championed. Community involvement often reflects a person's core values and shows how they contributed to the world around them.
Anecdotes and Memorable Moments
A short story or memorable quote can be the most powerful part of an obituary. Perhaps they had a saying they repeated often, or there was a moment that perfectly captured their character. These narrative elements give readers a window into the person's lived experience.
Survivors and Predeceased
Surviving Family Members
List the names of those who survive the deceased. The typical order is:
- Spouse or partner
- Children (and their spouses or partners)
- Grandchildren and great-grandchildren
- Parents (if still living)
- Siblings (and their spouses)
- Other significant relatives or close friends, at the family's discretion
Be thorough and careful with this list. Omitting someone, even accidentally, can cause significant pain.
Predeceased Family Members
Note family members who passed away before the deceased. This typically includes parents, a spouse, siblings, or children. This section acknowledges important relationships and provides a sense of the losses the person experienced during their lifetime.
Service and Memorial Information
Funeral or Memorial Service Details
Include the date, time, and location of any planned services. Specify whether the service is open to the public or restricted to family. If there will be a visitation or viewing before the service, include those details as well.
Burial or Cremation Information
Note where the burial will take place or, if the person was cremated, whether there will be a scattering ceremony or interment of ashes. Some families prefer to keep this information private, which is perfectly acceptable.
Charitable Donations
If the family prefers donations to a specific organization in lieu of flowers, state this clearly. Include the full name of the organization and, if possible, a link or address for contributions. This directs the generosity of friends and community members toward causes the deceased cared about.
Online Condolences
If there is a memorial website, online guestbook, or dedicated page where people can leave messages, include the link. This extends the opportunity for people to share memories beyond the printed notice.
Optional Elements
A Photograph
While not part of the written text, selecting a good photograph is an important part of the obituary. Choose an image that captures the person as they were known — a warm smile, a candid moment, or a formal portrait, depending on what feels right.
A Favorite Quote, Poem, or Scripture
Some families choose to open or close the obituary with a meaningful passage. This could be a line from a favorite book, a verse from scripture, a song lyric reference, or a personal motto. Choose something that genuinely resonated with the deceased.
A Personal Sign-Off
Some obituaries end with a brief personal note from the family, such as: "The family wishes to thank the staff at St. Mary's Hospital for their compassionate care." This adds a human touch and acknowledges those who supported the family during a difficult time.
Putting It All Together
Not every obituary needs to include every element listed here. The goal is to create a tribute that feels complete and true to the person. Use this guide as a reference, selecting the elements that best serve the story you want to tell.
If you would like a structured starting point, browse our obituary templates for frameworks tailored to different relationships and styles. You can also use our obituary creator to build your tribute step by step, ensuring you include all the details that matter most.
Ready to Create an Obituary?
Put these tips into practice with our free obituary creator